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I am going to Edinburgh Fringe this week where I will be performing my show ‘BLUE’ to literally tens of people.

Edinburgh Fringe is my favourite place/time in the whole world. Every August I long for deluded drama students and endless bouts of emotional pain. It’s the only place on earth I can feel invigorated and completely useless at the same time.

The festival does silly things to you. I remember last year, getting so wrapped up in the Fringe, I went to a sandwich shop and when the cashier handed me the sandwich I burst into spontaneous applause. Just out of habit. The weirdest part was when someone in the queue behind me joined in. I reviewed that sandwich for Broadway Baby.

“A bit cheesy” – Red Redmond, Broadway Baby

In previous years I have mainly organised and performed stand-up showcases. Usually at least 2-a-day.

THIS YEAR I will be performing my debut solo stand-up show. A show I haven’t really finished writing. Don’t worry! I like my comedy like I like my salad. Fresh, loose and slightly undercooked.

2nd – 23rd Aug // The Soutsider // 8.15pm – 9.15pm

My show was originally meant to be about unadulterated fun. Playing with an audience and creating mad but meaningful sense of community. But then I got a job. I now work 4hours-a-day in call centre. FANTASTIC! As such, there’s a few more structured gags. Lots of material about my new found employment. Plus, a big finale where I try to get a member of the audience compensation due to a mis-sold insurance policy on their past finances. I know! It’ll be a right laugh.

2nd -23rd Aug // Opium Nightclub // 3.45pm -4.45pm

I will also be performing an afternoon showcase in association with Dead Cat Comedy. So if you fancy an easy hour of the Fringe’s finest stand-up, then pop down to Opium @ 3.45.

LOVE YOU!!!

x

 

I live with my pet rabbit Molly. She is a 9 month old Lionhead and Netherland Dwarf cross. She likes to eat brocolli, celery and her own shit. I love her.

 

Yesterday Molly got neutered. I’d never been to the vets alone before. It was quite nice,  a little waiting room tucked away in the far corner of my local Pets at Home. I suppose that’s a bit odd, like running a dental practice in the back of a B&Q.

I took Molly in at 9am. They were running a little late. A sat opposite a TV which ran adverts warning dog owners of the dangers of lungworm. I was called in.

I instantly felt at ease, not because it was a standard procedure, but because my vet was a lesbian. I trust lesbians, particularly with animals. They get the job done. No fucking about. Lesbians love animals, it’s one of the fundamental laws of humankind, I’m pretty sure it says it The Bible. It’s one of the commandments right after the one that says ‘cunts shop at Hollister‘. Anyway, she was lovely and professional and talked through everything I’d need to know about the operation.

They took Molly into surgery. I went to Sainsbury’s to get her favourite food for when she recovered. I called at 2pm to check if the operation had been successful. It had. She was coming round and I would be able to collect her soon.

I collected her at 4.30pm. My Lesbian Vet (I should really get better at remembering names) told me to keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn’t chew at her stitches. Also, make sure she eats. If rabbits don’t eat for 24 hours they die, making Ramadan a difficult time for all Islamic woodland creatures.

This advice was a little pointless. I mean sure, I’ll keep an eye on her all day, but at some point I will need sleep. What’s to stop her tearing herself open at 3am whilst I’m tucked up in bed. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well. I woke up terrified at what may have happened in the night. Molly sleeps in the living room. I should’ve moved her to my room, but my Girlfriend was staying over and she already suspects I love Molly more. I checked on her right away. She was fine. She’d nibbled at a bit of celery and done a big wee…Molly had, not my Girlfriend.

She’s on the road to recovery. Gnawing at a few things here and there. I have to go back to Vets tomorrow for a Post-Op check-up. Fingers crossed.

x

Edinburgh Fringe 2014 will see the premier of my debut solo stand-up show: BLUE. I can not describe how excited, overjoyed and under-prepared I am. BLUE is a stand-up show like no other. Prepare yourselves!

Most acts go up to Edinburgh and tend to do one of the following two options…

1. A themed show – This is when an act picks a theme e.g. Loss, embarrassement or their dead mum. They then spend the subsequent hour desperately trying to crowbar in old material to clumsily fit the subject.

2. Greatest Hits Show! An hour of the best routines you’ve written over a number of years. Not a bad idea but surely when it comes to next year’s show there will be a noticeable drop in quality.

Instead, I’ve opted for the third option…FUN!

I, Red Redmond, promise to have fun with ever single person who comes to my show. Think of BLUE as a tone. A world where fun is God. Come down and experience a show full of interaction, energy and honesty. We’ll chat, we’ll learn, we’ll draw pictures of cats. Think of BLUE, not as a show, but as a mess. A hot mess of fun and positivity.

 

BLUE is the first of a series of shows/messes. Each year I will bring a subsequent colour to Edinburgh. The idea being that if each show is a tone, that tone will change throughout the year. As time passes my perspective will change and as a result my shows will evolve. I plan on doing YELLOW, GREEN, PINK, PURPLE, ORANGE, BLACK, RED and WHITE. So far, YELLOW is favourite for 2015. I plan on RED being my farewell tour. However, all of this is subject to change, who knows how many colours I will do. One thing’s for certain, BLUE is the first of Red Redmond’s infamous COLOURS series.

So, fancy it? BLUE will be a part of PBH’s Free Fringe 2014…

Red Redmond – BLUE
20:15-21:15 // 2nd -23rd August // The Southsider Pub.
FREE ENTRY!

x

 

I have a confession to make. I am obsessed by the single most depressing pass-time known to humanity. I am addicted to watching other people play videogames. I repeat, I don’t like playing video games, just watching others play videogames. Yesterday I spent over 3hours watching YouTube clips of a German guy I’ve never met playing The Simpsons: Hit & Run. And you know what? It was fantastic!

CLICK HERE TO SEE FOR YOURSELF.

I don’t remember exactly when my ‘Videogame Voyeurism’ began. It’s just something I’ve always enjoyed. For me, actually playing a game means that I’m in control, I have responsibility, this conjures feelings of fear and anxiety. I would much prefer to watch someone else have a fiddle, pressure’s off, sit back and take it in. Whilst this might explain a lot about my approach to life I promise it has absolutely no reflection on my sexual preferences.

I recently watched the entire Walkthrough of GTA5. I ordered a Chinese Takeaway. It was one of the happiest nights of my life. Should this depress me? Should I feel bad that I take such great pleasure from achieving absolutely nothing? I mean, even if I was playing those games for 5 straight hours I wouldn’t really have achieved anything. But I’m not even doing that. I’m watching someone else doing that. Do you know how brutally lazy that is? I have surpassed laziness. My life mainly consists of watching others waste theirs.

Videogames are infinitely longer than movies and (if you choose wisely) they have far more intricate stories. So, what are you waiting for? Go and waste yet more valuable time by watching a 12 year old French boy stab a goat on Modern Warfare.

Bye.

x