I have a confession to make. I am obsessed by the single most depressing pass-time known to humanity. I am addicted to watching other people play videogames. I repeat, I don’t like playing video games, just watching others play videogames. Yesterday I spent over 3hours watching YouTube clips of a German guy I’ve never met playing The Simpsons: Hit & Run. And you know what? It was fantastic!
I don’t remember exactly when my ‘Videogame Voyeurism’ began. It’s just something I’ve always enjoyed. For me, actually playing a game means that I’m in control, I have responsibility, this conjures feelings of fear and anxiety. I would much prefer to watch someone else have a fiddle, pressure’s off, sit back and take it in. Whilst this might explain a lot about my approach to life I promise it has absolutely no reflection on my sexual preferences.
I recently watched the entire Walkthrough of GTA5. I ordered a Chinese Takeaway. It was one of the happiest nights of my life. Should this depress me? Should I feel bad that I take such great pleasure from achieving absolutely nothing? I mean, even if I was playing those games for 5 straight hours I wouldn’t really have achieved anything. But I’m not even doing that. I’m watching someone else doing that. Do you know how brutally lazy that is? I have surpassed laziness. My life mainly consists of watching others waste theirs.
Videogames are infinitely longer than movies and (if you choose wisely) they have far more intricate stories. So, what are you waiting for? Go and waste yet more valuable time by watching a 12 year old French boy stab a goat on Modern Warfare.